Transitions

Chapter Contents

• Beginning a Placement
• New Placements – Stages of Adjustment
• Belongings and Suitcases
• Ending a Placement

Beginning a Placement

When the child arrives

We all feel nervous meeting new people. Children are usually wary of new adults and it may be more concerning if they are not. For a child having to leave their home and meet foster parents may be extremely stressful. When we think in terms of the secure base model, it is easy to see how, not knowing you at all, a child may find it difficult to trust you, or be unsure about what to expect and how to behave. Be sensitive and patient, and mindful of what the child may be thinking and feeling.

Your home may be very different from the child’s own home, or previous placement. Things which you take for granted can be bewildering to a child. Meals and other occasions when family members are together may be tense. It will help if you can do the following:   

• Be understanding and accept the child for who they are
• Be consistent in your rules and boundaries
• Make sure you’ve read all the information you’ve been given about the child, and ask if you need more information
• Encourage the child to get to know all family members.
• Have a relaxed welcoming meal where everyone can meet each other
• Remember all children’s needs are different
• Talk with the child about their parents, other family members and friends
• Wherever possible, continue with the routines that the child is used to, such as bedtimes.

The first few days

Little things can be initially important in helping a child to relax and start to get to know you. For example, what do they like to drink and eat? Do they have a favourite television programme? What was the child’s routine at home? This is a good starting point to understanding the foster child joining your family and how routines may differ.

If the child arrives with dirty clothes and toys, don’t wash these or discard them unless the child agrees. These items are a link with their home and family, and a source of comfort for the child.

You might need to take the child shopping in the first few days for some new clothes. This is a good opportunity to allow them to make choices and have some control over their new environment. If they would like to, allow them to choose some items to personalise their new bedroom.

What if I have doubts?

During the early days, while you are all getting used to each other, you might have some doubts about the placement. If you do, please keep a careful record of what concerns you and discuss this with your supervising social worker. They will listen to your worries and you can think about whether extra support would help. We all know that frequent changes of placement can be very damaging to children’s wellbeing. We try to avoid unnecessary moves.

What do we call each other?

Most children you care for will have parents. It is very rare for a child not to have known a mum or a dad or both. We don’t encourage the use of ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ because it can be confusing to the child and insensitive to the birth parents. However, if a child chooses to do so, please remain sensitive to the identity of the child, and the feelings of birth families, who remain the child’s ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’.

Some children struggle to know what to call foster parents and may choose not to call you anything at all, at least in the early stages. You can suggest to the child what he or she could call you. This may be your first name, ‘aunt’ or ‘uncle’ or anything else that is appropriate in your view. Introduce yourself at the start of placement by this intended name.

The child’s name is an important part of their identity. Please ensure that you have the correct spelling of a child’s name, and please do not change or adapt it to call them something else, unless they have asked you to. If the child wishes to be known by a different name, you should seek advice from the child’s social worker.

When you have these discussions with the child, you could also talk about how you can help them to explain to others who you are, for example to friends at school. They may not wish for classmates to know that they are in foster care.  While some children are very open about their situation, others prefer to have a ‘cover story’ in order to reduce the curiosity of others.

New Placements – Stages of Adjustment

The honeymoon period – this can refer to the first few weeks or months. The child may be trying to make a good impression. Sometimes they feel so bad they are afraid that if they show how they really feel their foster parents might send them away. They may feel so depressed they do not care anymore. Even children who seem contented may not be able to express their feelings.

Withdrawal – as they relax the child may need time to get their thoughts together. Try not to intrude at this time. This may be the hardest behaviour to manage because the child is not able to give you anything on which to develop your relationship or help them. You need to remain physically and emotionally available to them, so that they can learn to trust you.

Acting out – the child may now become more challenging; they will take the lid off their feelings and spill them in all directions. No one will know how long this will last. Try to remember that your job is to help them develop a secure base in your family home and to find safe ways to express these feelings and reassure them. This means being sensitive to the emotions that may underlie their behaviour. Children will need to feel accepted before they can develop self-esteem and learn to trust you. Their behaviour may make you angry and you need to find a safe way of expressing your feelings too.

Belongings and Suitcases

Foster children may bring items of clothing, toys or other possessions with them when they come to stay. These belongings may not seem very valuable, but they may be precious to a child and therefore should be treated with respect. Any toys the child brings along, whatever condition they are in, are the child’s belongings. They must be looked after and go with the child when he or she leaves. This also applies to any toys bought for the child whilst living with you or any toys given by relatives for birthdays and at other celebrations.

When a child first arrives in the foster home having left his or her own home in a crisis, he or she may have few belongings and may not have a suitcase or holdall. You should purchase a suitable bag which is solely the property of that child and will go with them if they leave the placement. Please purchase this bag regardless of the child’s length of stay with you. Never send the child away from your home with their belongings in refuse sacks.

Ending a Placement

Why do children move on?

Ideally, placement moves should always be planned, taking into account the child’s changing needs, wishes and feelings. For example, fostered children may return to their birth family – usually back to their parents, but sometimes to grandparents or other relatives. If children can live successfully and safely within their own family, this is always the preferred choice. Fostered children may also move to a new family for a permanent placement, through adoption or permanent foster care. Older foster children may move to live independently. For more information about this process, please see Part 11 of the Foster Parent Handbook.

In some situations, a move is unplanned. An ‘accommodated’ child can return to their parent immediately, if the parent chooses this.  Foster placements can also end quite quickly as a result of unexpected changes in the fostering household or because the young person’s behaviour becomes unmanageable. In some cases, placements can break down because people find they are not well matched and do not get on well. If a placement breaks down it does not mean that you or the foster child are at fault.

Arrangements for ending placements

When it appears that a placement is coming to an end, it is important that you, the child’s social worker and ISP workers help the child to understand why they are moving, and support the child through their transition to a new living situation, whatever that may be. Even in situations where moves were not planned, our aim is that we will work together with you to ensure sufficient time for planning and arranging the child’s future placement, in order to avoid moving a child as a result of a crisis or emergency.

If you wish to end a placement, we expect a 28-day notice period. We will never move a child on the same day, other than in very dangerous circumstances, where serious harm will occur if the child is not moved.

Disruption meetings

If a placement breaks down irretrievably the Local Authority will usually want to hold a disruption meeting, which should be chaired by an Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) who has not chaired previous meetings for the child and who can offer ‘neutral’ chairing. The disruption meeting should involve all those closely involved with the child and family, including the child’s social worker, and the supervising social worker.

The objective of the meeting is to examine the various elements of the placement match and the reason for the disruption in order to ensure that:

• The child’s current and future needs can be met
• The child and foster parents can be helped to recover from the experience
• Practice can be improved

 

The meeting will be recorded and you should receive a copy of the minutes.

For more information, read our Placement Stability Policy.

Can I maintain contact with the child when they have moved on?

It is very important for a child or young person not to just move away and have no further contact. The longer the placement has been, the more important this is. Children need to know that important people who have looked after them have not just ‘disappeared’ from their lives, even where placements ended unhappily. It can often happen, however, that once placements are finished no future contact arrangements are made.

ISP will try to ensure that placement planning includes arrangements for the type and timing of future contact in line with the needs of the child. Contact may be by letter, phone or in person. Be prepared to discuss and review the planned contact arrangements with the parents, the new carers and/or the social workers involved. The child’s needs come first.