As a foster parent, you may be managing some very challenging behaviour, including aggression, violence and destructive outbursts. Through your therapeutic pathway and PRICE training, you will learn to be sensitive to the reasons behind this behaviour and identify ways in which you can help children to manage their feelings of stress and anger.
There will be times when it is necessary to impose a sanction as a consequence for behaviour that is particularly dangerous/unsafe in order to emphasise the seriousness of the situation. Please seek support from your supervising social worker and fostering advisor in managing the incident and identifying appropriate sanctions. We would ask you to avoid the need for police involvement wherever possible. Please only call the police if an emergency requires their immediate involvement to protect the child or others. Please notify ISP immediately if this happens.
Sanctions should always be reasonable and the minimum necessary to achieve the objective. Apply the following principles:
- Sanctions should be the exception and not the rule
- Sanctions must not be used in retaliation or revenge
- Take time to consider the appropriate response – don’t apply sanctions in the heat of the moment
- Only impose sanctions for persistent or serious misbehaviour, where reminders and reprimands have already failed, or are likely to fail
- Always explain to the child why the behaviour is unacceptable, and why you have decided to apply a sanction.
- Sanctions should only last as long as they need to, allowing the child the opportunity to make a fresh start as quickly as possible
Sanctions/punishments may include:
- Loss of privileges e.g. loss of staying up late on a special night of the week, or visiting friends.
- Going to bed early e.g. in response to disruptive behaviour at bedtime, or coming home late. Do not send them to bed more than an hour before their normal bedtime though.
- Paying towards damages. You can ask young people to contribute to the cost of repairing something they have damaged. However, you must never take all their pocket money. Get the agreement of your supervising social worker and the child’s social worker, and always record the repayments in your daily log.
- Doing extra jobs e.g. tidying the living room each day for a week if they have been responsible for creating a messy environment for others.
- Grounding for a time. Link this to the problem behaviour, e.g. the young person may have damaged trust by not returning home at the agreed time.
- No television or treat. This can be difficult if it means that others in the family will also lose out. The sanction is not isolation so do not leave them in another room alone while everyone else enjoys the programme or treat.
- Time out. Only use very short periods, particularly if the child is young. Telling them to sit on a chair just outside the room that the foster parent is in for five minutes can be enough. Don’t send a child to their bedroom for ‘time out’, although some will retreat there at times to calm down.
- Verbal disapproval. A raised voice, or different tone, can indicate displeasure. Be clear with the child that it is their behaviour you dislike, not the child themselves. Also, avoid reprimanding the child in public if possible.
Non-approved sanctions:
Some sanctions are unacceptable because they humiliate a child. Do not use punishments that the child has experienced in the past and which may bring painful and traumatic memories.
You should never threaten to end a placement as a punishment for the child. They may have previously experienced this threat in their own family, and it can seriously damage their relationship with you.
The following sanctions are not approved, and must never be used:
- Corporal punishment; i.e. any intentional application of force as punishment, including slapping, punching, rough handling and throwing missiles;
- Sanctions relating to the consumption or deprivation of food or drink;
- Restrictions on a child’s contact with his or her parents, relatives or friends; on visits to the child by his or her parents, relatives or friends; on a child’s communications with any of the persons listed below*; or on his or her access to any telephone helpline providing counselling or advice for children. This does not prevent restricting contact in exceptional circumstances, when needed to protect the child or others;
- Any requirement that a child wears distinctive or inappropriate clothes;
- The use or withholding of medication, or medical or dental treatment;
- The withholding of aids or equipment needed by a disabled child;
- Intentionally depriving a child of sleep
- Bribery or the use of threats;
- Anything which may humiliate a child or cause them to be ridiculed;
- The imposition of any fine or financial penalty, other than a requirement for the payment of a reasonable sum by way of reparation.
- Intimate physical examination of a child;
- Measures which involves a child in the imposition of a sanction against another child;
- Sanctioning a group of children for the behaviour of an individual child;
- Swearing at the child, or the use of foul, demeaning or humiliating language or measures.
*The persons with whom the child may have contact, in relation to the third item above, are:
- Officer of the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service appointed for the child;
- Social worker for the time being assigned to the child by his placing authority;
- Any person appointed in respect of any requirement of the procedure specified in the Representations Procedure (Children) Regulations 1991;
- Independent Visitor;
- Any person authorised by the Regulatory Authority;
- Any person authorised by the local authority in whose area the home is situated;
- Any person authorised by the Secretary of State under section 80(2) of the 1989 Act to conduct an inspection of the home and the child(ren) there.
